An Inspired Poem, and Random Rant

The Man In The Glass
Anonymous

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

***

Okay, as wonderful and true as this poem is, I must say that the only other person's verdict that matters more than our own, is God's.

They say you can't love anyone else if you can't love yourself... and it's true.

Uh-oh, I feel a rant coming on… please accept my apology in advance… this may get random.

We are all Swiss-cheese people... full of whole and voids. We can't expect to fill those voids on our own. Better put, we are whole people, but with voids that we try to fill with "instant gratification" (just add water). That aching void knows the substitute from the real thing... like eating cake for nutrition. It's better than nothing, we think. But our true hunger is not satiated and we know it. This world cannot satisfy... no matter how much we coat it with chocolate. Even the best that this world offers does not compare to God's best... but since our human habits are to believe what we see, and gratify our immediate hunger with whatever we can get our hands on, we are forever dissatisfied, disappointed, seeking, searching... hungry.

My question is how do we get PASSED that initial craving for the "right now," and reach for the carrot, instead of the carrot cake? (Mmm, frosting...)

How do we see what's beyond what in front of us...? All the instant-gratification is sweet at first, but the lack of sustenance leaves a bittersweet aftertaste.

Even our best intentions of life and future end up being what we settle for because we couldn't find what was truly best...

What we think of as best, ends up only being good. And that's how the adversary works... he uses "good" to be the enemy of "best;" the "now" instead of "later, or the "later" instead of "NOW." I know that's confusing, but I'm on a rant, don't interrupt me.

All this talk of food must mean I’m hungry. I get weird when hunger strikes, so forgive the strangeness. I’ll stop soon, once the growl of my stomach becomes audible to the person in the next room.

So, anyway, I say all this, because I struggle with every last mention.

I went from having three jobs, back down to one, again… but with a busted transmission and peanuts for income, I’m finding it hard to be content… or even happy with myself… after being accused of not being efficient (fast) enough, and being too detail oriented, when that’s what I’ve grown up to be, and been trained to be all my life.

So I recently made an emergency chocolate-run, and though 85% dark did the trick for the moment, afterward I knew I shouldn’t have spent money I didn’t have… and my waistline is paying for it, still. Springtime in the Rockies means snow… so not a lot of 5-mile runs for me, yet. But I guess it’s my choice, and if I wanted it enough, I’d be fit again…

Speaking of wanting something bad enough to work hard for it…

My home-studies have taken to the ditch… which means a spiral of further self-pity… since my life-dreams keep going to the wayside, or getting put on hold… because life got in the way of life.

One two of the four puppies in Lily’s second litter didn’t make it. Two got a fever, one didn’t survive… the other is doing better… but one didn't even make it through the first night. The death of pets is like the death of loved ones… and the loss of my car… plus the loss of my jobs… has made hard for me to have much desire to really pick myself back up. I’ve kind of needed to grieve. I doubt that makes much sense to any guy… because it doesn’t fix the problem… and it makes me look weak and childish. But that's an over-stereotype... I'm glad to be wrong.

I’ve got a lot to do, but the most I want to do is acknowledge the pain by embracing and validating reality. I will move on… and I can feel that a turn in the bend is coming up on this stretch of road… but I don’t know if I’ll be ready for it.

There are a lot of lessons to take from everything going on… I may have to write them down to release them from my mind, and feel clear again… but that may take a while. One of many reasons I do things the way I do, is in hopes that those I love can one day learn from what I have learned, because I’d hate for anyone to have to learn by trial and error when they can skip some of the pain and get more out of life… since life is so short and we don’t have enough time to learn from all the mistakes one person can make… or learn every lesson... we have to help each other, in love. This is one way I want to express that love.

Everyday has been one big test after another to learn from… and I haven’t been taking notes.

Maybe it’s time I do… ‘cause I’m running out of chocolate.


…TBC,


LGB

Whether the Weather...

Whether the Weather
by L.M. Fergusson


Whether the weather

Be better or neither,

We'll weather no matter,

With sweaters and hats

To match,

That scatter

In the wind, and catch

the rain

Until the weather

is better again.