***
This is not what I intended.
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.
You always thought that I was stronger.
I may have failed,
But I have loved you from the start...
But hold your breath...
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again,
Don't make me change my mind,
Or I won't live to see another day,
I swear it's true...
.....
***
.....
I'm reaching for the love I lost tonight
And I don't know why, You're right here,
But you seem so out of sight...
You once believed in me
But now I'm incomplete
...thought we were meant to be
Where did you go? You vanished,
Something that you said would never die, has lost its life
Wish I could bring us back
Just who could picture that...
You've vanished...
***
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Another Epiphany
I come up with these from time to time, but rarely do I write them down. I feel as though I want to share this revelation with other souls willing to hear. I will preface all I am about to say with this: the following is from my mind alone, developed by the influences of C.S. Lewis, John Elderidge, the Rightly Divided Word, and Eric and Leslie Ludy.
As I (and God) have been doing much inner-workings in myself, I haven’t been very social lately, and for that I apologize. Plus, not having a car, and working 40+ hours a week leaves little time for much else… meaning I have no life, according to the world’s standards. But that wasn’t much of a concern to begin with. ^_^
Anyway… as Smee so elegantly put it: “lightning… struck my brain!” (Kudos to the person who can quote the reply!)
So, what have I been mulling over these past couple of weeks? Life. I know, not much. Just existence in general. I’ve been feeling “ontologically light” these days, and can’t pin myself down ^_~ pardon the pun.
From the first day of being to my inevitable end, what on EARTH am I on Earth for? (another pardon, please) No occupation or location can possibly be the answer, I have deduced. I will not be totally happy or satisfied with being a millionaire. It is empty fortune. Knowledge and books… all there is to know about life will not fill the void of a soul, longing. Love of family and friends… STILL… it does not satiate.
Total, COMPLETE and fulfilling happiness does not come from the world, or our success in life. This fact hit me like a brick wall and a wrecking ball. All my theories and ideas of what I wanted out of life was reduced to rubble in a matter of breaths. Happiness… is not the point?
I am not the center of attention on God’s stage? I am not the lead character? How can I come to grips with NOT being what the center of the universe revolves around? Like a child, I wanted to rebel. I often still blush in displeasure thinking about the psychological damage this is doing to me.
I am 3 years old, twirling in the Cinderella-dress my Grandma made for me. It twinkles and sparkles, and my eyes light up, and I’m grinning widely… dancing for all to see…! And everyone looks away. They pay attention to something else. Tears ensue, and when that doesn’t work… and I can find no one to pay attention to me… I become nothing… alone… I cease to exist. This empty feeling in the depths of my soul cries out to be heard.
This mindset can only be understood after the fact, and not during. As a child, I thought as a child, spoke as a child… and I did not understand any other way, because what I did not know then, has taken my LIFETIME to learn. Funny how that is. A mountain of knowledge cannot be attained or climbed in one step. In this, patience has been a virtue I did not possess.
I often wonder if psychology is a field of study I could pursue in this life. But then I wonder what good it would do me… in the end.
What is all this for? This fleeting happiness… this ephemeral joy? It comes from God… He created everything in this world, and this life for us to enjoy, yes. But there is MORE to it. We are here, not for US, but for HIM. Because of Him we live, move and have our being (where is the written?)
EVERY happiness derived from this earth, and this life, are ephemeral. Though happiness and joy come from God’s beauty, and this wonderful creation around us, it is temporal, broken… and imperfect.
We are here for a short time. The love, joy and beauty we share today… in a blink of an eye is gone and tomorrow we may behold eternity. And THAT is our TRUE destiny. An eternity with our Creator, our Father, our Lover.
This life is a “proving ground.” We are here to grow, to learn and to become the warriors, poets, champions, princes, princesses, ladies, and loves… for our God.
We are all called to follow His intricate design for each of our lives, ultimately leading us to Him, and a life eternal. A PERFECT life without tears, imperfection and pain; a life of overflowing love of and from God.
The lives He has for us are not the lives we think, or the ones we try to create for ourselves. We become lost in our own plots and lose sight of HIS.
We all live lives of quiet desperation because deep down we yearn for something more that does not and CANNOT come from this world. The truth we hate to admit is… this life does NOT fulfill.
Yes, it is a gift, this life and this earth. We all get caught up with what is good in life, thinking that it’s enough… but deep in our soul we know it is vapid, and tasteless compared to what is to come. It is our head that get in the way of our SOUL. Honestly our head and our ‘heart’ (not the blood-pumping organ!) are one and the same. Our emotions are different from out thoughts only so long as our emotions do NOT become HOW WE THINK. But our soul is a far deeper thing. It perceives what our sense cannot. It speaks to God, what words can never describe. I believe our soul is what beholds true beauty.
I love this beauty that God has blessed us all with! Examine a snowflake, experience a warm summer sunset in the arms of a loved one! Enjoy the laughter of a child! These all bring me to tears of joy to my soul… and yet… it is unfathomable to think of how much MORE wonderful Heaven will be. My mind cannot comprehend it.
When I think of all the world’s troubles, and the woes of my own existence… it all seems less concerning (whether or not I have the RIGHT career, whether or not I graduate from a 4-year university, where I will live, even if I get married… or not) when I truly attempt to acknowledge the grander scheme; the bigger story. His story… is the one I want to glorify… not my own.
I am tired of searching after my own ‘glorious’ story. It really isn’t all that OR a bag of chips…! If my story means anything, it is to contribute to a much more grandiose romance. God’s love story to the world is the one we’re all a part of. We each play a destined character.
I believe that it is ONLY through God that our stories become great, and when we get out of the spotlight, we become a better reflection of His love. Perhaps we truly show Him love by loving ourselves less and honoring Him more than the petty “gods” we worship throughout the day.
There are more “gods” in my life than I can count. To me, a ‘god’ is anything I put first on my priority-list, and God is somewhere in the corners of my mind… like a nagging errand. That is NOT where He wants to be… and I have taken His directions lightly. I question Him constantly… because I struggle to trust that He knows what He’s doing.
I get nervous when He’s got the pen, and He’s writing my life-story! I want to yank it out of His hand and say, “well, how about this? This sounds better, right?” when really all I did was scribble. When I look back at all I have written, it’s illegible, ink-splotched pages that when you can read them, it’s stilted and disingenuous, AT BEST. None of it is romantic or beautiful. When it IS any “good,” I look at what GOD wrote, and all of my “good” pales in comparison to His BEST.
Nothing He has ever written in my life has been anything BUT PERFECT. It brings me to tears at its beauty. I think to myself, “what am I doing? To think that I am so ‘great’ of a writer as to be able to out-write God??” And I see how in control his penmanship is… and how beautifully He writes… and I am speechless.
I do not believe God has chosen only ONE outcome for each of my life. He knew every possible outcome, already knowing the count of hairs on my head, and every thought I would ever think, and every choice I would ever make… and He wrote each one of the many possible tales of this short “blink of an existence,” that I will live… and He wrote it to perfection. His stories have no mistakes in them. Through everything that seems to be a mistake, an accident, or just plain abysmal… through every flaw in life, God turns it all for good.
If life were easy, we wouldn’t learn. And I believe the reason we learn is to grow. The reason we grow is to become stronger. And not in vain, I firmly believe. Though a good 90% of life is pain, the things we do hold onto (our love, our memories, our lessons, our wisdom) that are of true value, I believe we take that with us. I know, nothing that cannot fit through the eye of a needle will we take with us, but memories and love… they hold no weight, yet they are the greatest force in all of our hearts. And as we become stronger for God, and our treasures are stored there… I believe once we get there, our true destinies can be fulfilled.
I still have a death-grip on the idea of having a great life. And He did design the world to be enjoyed, fully. But I must also acknowledge that it will matter naught if I had a nice house or shiny masters’ degree hanging on its wall… the more I read God-breathed truths, the more I am able to submit. I still don’t know what God has planned for my life… but that is okay, because He does… and I am finally learning to TRULY trust Him on that.
As I (and God) have been doing much inner-workings in myself, I haven’t been very social lately, and for that I apologize. Plus, not having a car, and working 40+ hours a week leaves little time for much else… meaning I have no life, according to the world’s standards. But that wasn’t much of a concern to begin with. ^_^
Anyway… as Smee so elegantly put it: “lightning… struck my brain!” (Kudos to the person who can quote the reply!)
So, what have I been mulling over these past couple of weeks? Life. I know, not much. Just existence in general. I’ve been feeling “ontologically light” these days, and can’t pin myself down ^_~ pardon the pun.
From the first day of being to my inevitable end, what on EARTH am I on Earth for? (another pardon, please) No occupation or location can possibly be the answer, I have deduced. I will not be totally happy or satisfied with being a millionaire. It is empty fortune. Knowledge and books… all there is to know about life will not fill the void of a soul, longing. Love of family and friends… STILL… it does not satiate.
Total, COMPLETE and fulfilling happiness does not come from the world, or our success in life. This fact hit me like a brick wall and a wrecking ball. All my theories and ideas of what I wanted out of life was reduced to rubble in a matter of breaths. Happiness… is not the point?
I am not the center of attention on God’s stage? I am not the lead character? How can I come to grips with NOT being what the center of the universe revolves around? Like a child, I wanted to rebel. I often still blush in displeasure thinking about the psychological damage this is doing to me.
I am 3 years old, twirling in the Cinderella-dress my Grandma made for me. It twinkles and sparkles, and my eyes light up, and I’m grinning widely… dancing for all to see…! And everyone looks away. They pay attention to something else. Tears ensue, and when that doesn’t work… and I can find no one to pay attention to me… I become nothing… alone… I cease to exist. This empty feeling in the depths of my soul cries out to be heard.
This mindset can only be understood after the fact, and not during. As a child, I thought as a child, spoke as a child… and I did not understand any other way, because what I did not know then, has taken my LIFETIME to learn. Funny how that is. A mountain of knowledge cannot be attained or climbed in one step. In this, patience has been a virtue I did not possess.
I often wonder if psychology is a field of study I could pursue in this life. But then I wonder what good it would do me… in the end.
What is all this for? This fleeting happiness… this ephemeral joy? It comes from God… He created everything in this world, and this life for us to enjoy, yes. But there is MORE to it. We are here, not for US, but for HIM. Because of Him we live, move and have our being (where is the written?)
EVERY happiness derived from this earth, and this life, are ephemeral. Though happiness and joy come from God’s beauty, and this wonderful creation around us, it is temporal, broken… and imperfect.
We are here for a short time. The love, joy and beauty we share today… in a blink of an eye is gone and tomorrow we may behold eternity. And THAT is our TRUE destiny. An eternity with our Creator, our Father, our Lover.
This life is a “proving ground.” We are here to grow, to learn and to become the warriors, poets, champions, princes, princesses, ladies, and loves… for our God.
We are all called to follow His intricate design for each of our lives, ultimately leading us to Him, and a life eternal. A PERFECT life without tears, imperfection and pain; a life of overflowing love of and from God.
The lives He has for us are not the lives we think, or the ones we try to create for ourselves. We become lost in our own plots and lose sight of HIS.
We all live lives of quiet desperation because deep down we yearn for something more that does not and CANNOT come from this world. The truth we hate to admit is… this life does NOT fulfill.
Yes, it is a gift, this life and this earth. We all get caught up with what is good in life, thinking that it’s enough… but deep in our soul we know it is vapid, and tasteless compared to what is to come. It is our head that get in the way of our SOUL. Honestly our head and our ‘heart’ (not the blood-pumping organ!) are one and the same. Our emotions are different from out thoughts only so long as our emotions do NOT become HOW WE THINK. But our soul is a far deeper thing. It perceives what our sense cannot. It speaks to God, what words can never describe. I believe our soul is what beholds true beauty.
I love this beauty that God has blessed us all with! Examine a snowflake, experience a warm summer sunset in the arms of a loved one! Enjoy the laughter of a child! These all bring me to tears of joy to my soul… and yet… it is unfathomable to think of how much MORE wonderful Heaven will be. My mind cannot comprehend it.
When I think of all the world’s troubles, and the woes of my own existence… it all seems less concerning (whether or not I have the RIGHT career, whether or not I graduate from a 4-year university, where I will live, even if I get married… or not) when I truly attempt to acknowledge the grander scheme; the bigger story. His story… is the one I want to glorify… not my own.
I am tired of searching after my own ‘glorious’ story. It really isn’t all that OR a bag of chips…! If my story means anything, it is to contribute to a much more grandiose romance. God’s love story to the world is the one we’re all a part of. We each play a destined character.
I believe that it is ONLY through God that our stories become great, and when we get out of the spotlight, we become a better reflection of His love. Perhaps we truly show Him love by loving ourselves less and honoring Him more than the petty “gods” we worship throughout the day.
There are more “gods” in my life than I can count. To me, a ‘god’ is anything I put first on my priority-list, and God is somewhere in the corners of my mind… like a nagging errand. That is NOT where He wants to be… and I have taken His directions lightly. I question Him constantly… because I struggle to trust that He knows what He’s doing.
I get nervous when He’s got the pen, and He’s writing my life-story! I want to yank it out of His hand and say, “well, how about this? This sounds better, right?” when really all I did was scribble. When I look back at all I have written, it’s illegible, ink-splotched pages that when you can read them, it’s stilted and disingenuous, AT BEST. None of it is romantic or beautiful. When it IS any “good,” I look at what GOD wrote, and all of my “good” pales in comparison to His BEST.
Nothing He has ever written in my life has been anything BUT PERFECT. It brings me to tears at its beauty. I think to myself, “what am I doing? To think that I am so ‘great’ of a writer as to be able to out-write God??” And I see how in control his penmanship is… and how beautifully He writes… and I am speechless.
I do not believe God has chosen only ONE outcome for each of my life. He knew every possible outcome, already knowing the count of hairs on my head, and every thought I would ever think, and every choice I would ever make… and He wrote each one of the many possible tales of this short “blink of an existence,” that I will live… and He wrote it to perfection. His stories have no mistakes in them. Through everything that seems to be a mistake, an accident, or just plain abysmal… through every flaw in life, God turns it all for good.
If life were easy, we wouldn’t learn. And I believe the reason we learn is to grow. The reason we grow is to become stronger. And not in vain, I firmly believe. Though a good 90% of life is pain, the things we do hold onto (our love, our memories, our lessons, our wisdom) that are of true value, I believe we take that with us. I know, nothing that cannot fit through the eye of a needle will we take with us, but memories and love… they hold no weight, yet they are the greatest force in all of our hearts. And as we become stronger for God, and our treasures are stored there… I believe once we get there, our true destinies can be fulfilled.
I still have a death-grip on the idea of having a great life. And He did design the world to be enjoyed, fully. But I must also acknowledge that it will matter naught if I had a nice house or shiny masters’ degree hanging on its wall… the more I read God-breathed truths, the more I am able to submit. I still don’t know what God has planned for my life… but that is okay, because He does… and I am finally learning to TRULY trust Him on that.
Friday, April 4, 2008
An Inspired Poem, and Random Rant
The Man In The Glass
Anonymous
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
***
Okay, as wonderful and true as this poem is, I must say that the only other person's verdict that matters more than our own, is God's.
They say you can't love anyone else if you can't love yourself... and it's true.
Uh-oh, I feel a rant coming on… please accept my apology in advance… this may get random.
We are all Swiss-cheese people... full of whole and voids. We can't expect to fill those voids on our own. Better put, we are whole people, but with voids that we try to fill with "instant gratification" (just add water). That aching void knows the substitute from the real thing... like eating cake for nutrition. It's better than nothing, we think. But our true hunger is not satiated and we know it. This world cannot satisfy... no matter how much we coat it with chocolate. Even the best that this world offers does not compare to God's best... but since our human habits are to believe what we see, and gratify our immediate hunger with whatever we can get our hands on, we are forever dissatisfied, disappointed, seeking, searching... hungry.
My question is how do we get PASSED that initial craving for the "right now," and reach for the carrot, instead of the carrot cake? (Mmm, frosting...)
How do we see what's beyond what in front of us...? All the instant-gratification is sweet at first, but the lack of sustenance leaves a bittersweet aftertaste.
Even our best intentions of life and future end up being what we settle for because we couldn't find what was truly best...
What we think of as best, ends up only being good. And that's how the adversary works... he uses "good" to be the enemy of "best;" the "now" instead of "later, or the "later" instead of "NOW." I know that's confusing, but I'm on a rant, don't interrupt me.
All this talk of food must mean I’m hungry. I get weird when hunger strikes, so forgive the strangeness. I’ll stop soon, once the growl of my stomach becomes audible to the person in the next room.
So, anyway, I say all this, because I struggle with every last mention.
I went from having three jobs, back down to one, again… but with a busted transmission and peanuts for income, I’m finding it hard to be content… or even happy with myself… after being accused of not being efficient (fast) enough, and being too detail oriented, when that’s what I’ve grown up to be, and been trained to be all my life.
So I recently made an emergency chocolate-run, and though 85% dark did the trick for the moment, afterward I knew I shouldn’t have spent money I didn’t have… and my waistline is paying for it, still. Springtime in the Rockies means snow… so not a lot of 5-mile runs for me, yet. But I guess it’s my choice, and if I wanted it enough, I’d be fit again…
Speaking of wanting something bad enough to work hard for it…
My home-studies have taken to the ditch… which means a spiral of further self-pity… since my life-dreams keep going to the wayside, or getting put on hold… because life got in the way of life.
One two of the four puppies in Lily’s second litter didn’t make it. Two got a fever, one didn’t survive… the other is doing better… but one didn't even make it through the first night. The death of pets is like the death of loved ones… and the loss of my car… plus the loss of my jobs… has made hard for me to have much desire to really pick myself back up. I’ve kind of needed to grieve. I doubt that makes much sense to any guy… because it doesn’t fix the problem… and it makes me look weak and childish. But that's an over-stereotype... I'm glad to be wrong.
I’ve got a lot to do, but the most I want to do is acknowledge the pain by embracing and validating reality. I will move on… and I can feel that a turn in the bend is coming up on this stretch of road… but I don’t know if I’ll be ready for it.
There are a lot of lessons to take from everything going on… I may have to write them down to release them from my mind, and feel clear again… but that may take a while. One of many reasons I do things the way I do, is in hopes that those I love can one day learn from what I have learned, because I’d hate for anyone to have to learn by trial and error when they can skip some of the pain and get more out of life… since life is so short and we don’t have enough time to learn from all the mistakes one person can make… or learn every lesson... we have to help each other, in love. This is one way I want to express that love.
Everyday has been one big test after another to learn from… and I haven’t been taking notes.
Maybe it’s time I do… ‘cause I’m running out of chocolate.
…TBC,
LGB
Anonymous
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
***
Okay, as wonderful and true as this poem is, I must say that the only other person's verdict that matters more than our own, is God's.
They say you can't love anyone else if you can't love yourself... and it's true.
Uh-oh, I feel a rant coming on… please accept my apology in advance… this may get random.
We are all Swiss-cheese people... full of whole and voids. We can't expect to fill those voids on our own. Better put, we are whole people, but with voids that we try to fill with "instant gratification" (just add water). That aching void knows the substitute from the real thing... like eating cake for nutrition. It's better than nothing, we think. But our true hunger is not satiated and we know it. This world cannot satisfy... no matter how much we coat it with chocolate. Even the best that this world offers does not compare to God's best... but since our human habits are to believe what we see, and gratify our immediate hunger with whatever we can get our hands on, we are forever dissatisfied, disappointed, seeking, searching... hungry.
My question is how do we get PASSED that initial craving for the "right now," and reach for the carrot, instead of the carrot cake? (Mmm, frosting...)
How do we see what's beyond what in front of us...? All the instant-gratification is sweet at first, but the lack of sustenance leaves a bittersweet aftertaste.
Even our best intentions of life and future end up being what we settle for because we couldn't find what was truly best...
What we think of as best, ends up only being good. And that's how the adversary works... he uses "good" to be the enemy of "best;" the "now" instead of "later, or the "later" instead of "NOW." I know that's confusing, but I'm on a rant, don't interrupt me.
All this talk of food must mean I’m hungry. I get weird when hunger strikes, so forgive the strangeness. I’ll stop soon, once the growl of my stomach becomes audible to the person in the next room.
So, anyway, I say all this, because I struggle with every last mention.
I went from having three jobs, back down to one, again… but with a busted transmission and peanuts for income, I’m finding it hard to be content… or even happy with myself… after being accused of not being efficient (fast) enough, and being too detail oriented, when that’s what I’ve grown up to be, and been trained to be all my life.
So I recently made an emergency chocolate-run, and though 85% dark did the trick for the moment, afterward I knew I shouldn’t have spent money I didn’t have… and my waistline is paying for it, still. Springtime in the Rockies means snow… so not a lot of 5-mile runs for me, yet. But I guess it’s my choice, and if I wanted it enough, I’d be fit again…
Speaking of wanting something bad enough to work hard for it…
My home-studies have taken to the ditch… which means a spiral of further self-pity… since my life-dreams keep going to the wayside, or getting put on hold… because life got in the way of life.
One two of the four puppies in Lily’s second litter didn’t make it. Two got a fever, one didn’t survive… the other is doing better… but one didn't even make it through the first night. The death of pets is like the death of loved ones… and the loss of my car… plus the loss of my jobs… has made hard for me to have much desire to really pick myself back up. I’ve kind of needed to grieve. I doubt that makes much sense to any guy… because it doesn’t fix the problem… and it makes me look weak and childish. But that's an over-stereotype... I'm glad to be wrong.
I’ve got a lot to do, but the most I want to do is acknowledge the pain by embracing and validating reality. I will move on… and I can feel that a turn in the bend is coming up on this stretch of road… but I don’t know if I’ll be ready for it.
There are a lot of lessons to take from everything going on… I may have to write them down to release them from my mind, and feel clear again… but that may take a while. One of many reasons I do things the way I do, is in hopes that those I love can one day learn from what I have learned, because I’d hate for anyone to have to learn by trial and error when they can skip some of the pain and get more out of life… since life is so short and we don’t have enough time to learn from all the mistakes one person can make… or learn every lesson... we have to help each other, in love. This is one way I want to express that love.
Everyday has been one big test after another to learn from… and I haven’t been taking notes.
Maybe it’s time I do… ‘cause I’m running out of chocolate.
…TBC,
LGB
Whether the Weather...
Whether the Weather
by L.M. Fergusson
Whether the weather
Be better or neither,
We'll weather no matter,
With sweaters and hats
To match,
That scatter
In the wind, and catch
the rain
Until the weather
is better again.
by L.M. Fergusson
Whether the weather
Be better or neither,
We'll weather no matter,
With sweaters and hats
To match,
That scatter
In the wind, and catch
the rain
Until the weather
is better again.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Assignment: Com Up With An Original Idea!
Coming up with an original thought is like saying, "don't breathe the same air as someone else." This air we breathe has been breathed by the ancients since the dawn of time; it's just been recycled by trees.
That is the way thoughts are. One idea's origins cannot be 100% original, because there cannot come something from nothing. Influences spark ideas, but those ideas came from influences sparked from another idea that came from an influence sparked from another idea that came from another influence that... you get the idea.
Put someone in a padded room from birth to death, with no other life-contact or interaction, and see what original thoughts they create. And then of course, there's human nature, and ITS sole influence... which cannot be stopped... only what one does with it is what makes the change or stasis. Most people choose the "path of least resistance," instead of altering their course... mostly on account of fear.
But HERE'S an idea for for an original thought... you be the judge of whether or not I pass or fail this assignment:
Compared to other people's thoughts, none of my thoughts are original, nor are the ideas I have ever thought what someone else hasn't... but they are ideas I have never thought. The ideas themselves ARE original to my mind.
Now I just have to think of something I've never thought before.
So just how do feathers grow?
I like that so many people continue to have unique thoughts (of their own) and ideas that go outside of the general norm... in which case EVERYONE has something original to say and think that originates from themselves AND from the influences that create "new" thoughts... and that those that know this DON'T CARE whether or not they're being original, as much as they desire to speak their mind.
This "nothing is new" thing has been around since Earth's day one. Ecclesiastes, anyone? Or for the more modern music lovers, Kansas' "Dust in the Wind," anyone?
And I don't mind thoughts that have been"thunk" before, so much as I mind when, 1) people claim originality of someone else's thought, 2) when media shoves certain agendas in the face of the mass public, or that television is people's GOD so much that they ASK it to tell them how and what to think/act/live/be... 3) that people actually ACCEPT this tripe by default, and 4) when the default isn't questioned at all! WHO is it that tells them this, and are they of sound mind? Are they NOT also human, and prone to imperfection? What are they selling? WHY?
BUT...
If a person's mind questions the why's/how's, and the intentions therein, and comes up with a contentedness in accepting the "norm," SO BE IT. I'm not bothered by that... unless the norm is NOT in LOVE (i.e., hate, hurting others/themselves, sin, apathy, etc.)... but that is another topic of discussion.
...And for this idea to get out to more than a few people in this vast universe, called the Internet (or should it be called, "Uni-net" or "Interverse?") would be a miracle that I cannot hope to generate... and am too shy to instigate.
If I ever want to do something more interactive with this post, I will have to draw on the influence of others' ideas, because it just isn't in me!
Originally Yours,
LGB
That is the way thoughts are. One idea's origins cannot be 100% original, because there cannot come something from nothing. Influences spark ideas, but those ideas came from influences sparked from another idea that came from an influence sparked from another idea that came from another influence that... you get the idea.
Put someone in a padded room from birth to death, with no other life-contact or interaction, and see what original thoughts they create. And then of course, there's human nature, and ITS sole influence... which cannot be stopped... only what one does with it is what makes the change or stasis. Most people choose the "path of least resistance," instead of altering their course... mostly on account of fear.
But HERE'S an idea for for an original thought... you be the judge of whether or not I pass or fail this assignment:
Compared to other people's thoughts, none of my thoughts are original, nor are the ideas I have ever thought what someone else hasn't... but they are ideas I have never thought. The ideas themselves ARE original to my mind.
Now I just have to think of something I've never thought before.
So just how do feathers grow?
I like that so many people continue to have unique thoughts (of their own) and ideas that go outside of the general norm... in which case EVERYONE has something original to say and think that originates from themselves AND from the influences that create "new" thoughts... and that those that know this DON'T CARE whether or not they're being original, as much as they desire to speak their mind.
This "nothing is new" thing has been around since Earth's day one. Ecclesiastes, anyone? Or for the more modern music lovers, Kansas' "Dust in the Wind," anyone?
And I don't mind thoughts that have been"thunk" before, so much as I mind when, 1) people claim originality of someone else's thought, 2) when media shoves certain agendas in the face of the mass public, or that television is people's GOD so much that they ASK it to tell them how and what to think/act/live/be... 3) that people actually ACCEPT this tripe by default, and 4) when the default isn't questioned at all! WHO is it that tells them this, and are they of sound mind? Are they NOT also human, and prone to imperfection? What are they selling? WHY?
BUT...
If a person's mind questions the why's/how's, and the intentions therein, and comes up with a contentedness in accepting the "norm," SO BE IT. I'm not bothered by that... unless the norm is NOT in LOVE (i.e., hate, hurting others/themselves, sin, apathy, etc.)... but that is another topic of discussion.
...And for this idea to get out to more than a few people in this vast universe, called the Internet (or should it be called, "Uni-net" or "Interverse?") would be a miracle that I cannot hope to generate... and am too shy to instigate.
If I ever want to do something more interactive with this post, I will have to draw on the influence of others' ideas, because it just isn't in me!
Originally Yours,
LGB
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Madness...!
I am absolutely beside myself these days with Spring Fever, Cabin Fever, and March Madness. I am one sick puppy. But all is well... as well as "well" can be... just don't go visiting the mountains around this time of the year... we bears are getting grumpy in our caves, all across the face of this big "rock." Taking a walk in Colorado, you worry less about being mugged than you do about being mauled... by animals of various size and species... even the squirrels are sinister. The pine-cones they chuck are deadly! They've got the madness, too.
Besides all that, the Part 2 of my last post will have to wait... gomen-ne!
I have much to do today, but I AM getting better at this "post-thing" I think. I just have to make the time, amidst work, my home-study courses of Japanese and Math, daily specific ob's (obligations), Word-Searching, and finding some time to be active (a bear has little room to stretch, let alone exercise in his cave!), and the snow hasn't thawed yet... nor is the air warm enough for this wimpy bear! Did I mention I hate cold?
Trundling off to be about my "to do's,"
LGB
Besides all that, the Part 2 of my last post will have to wait... gomen-ne!
I have much to do today, but I AM getting better at this "post-thing" I think. I just have to make the time, amidst work, my home-study courses of Japanese and Math, daily specific ob's (obligations), Word-Searching, and finding some time to be active (a bear has little room to stretch, let alone exercise in his cave!), and the snow hasn't thawed yet... nor is the air warm enough for this wimpy bear! Did I mention I hate cold?
Trundling off to be about my "to do's,"
LGB
Monday, March 10, 2008
Stop This Train, Part 1.
A song I've been listening to that I wanted to share the lyrics to.
***
No, I'm not colorblind...
I know the world is black and white.
Try to keep an open mind,
But I just can't sleep on this tonight.
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in.
I know I can't,
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it,
Don't want to see my parents go.
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own.
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in,
I know I can't,
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older,
I'm only good at being young.
So I play the numbers game,
To find a way to say that life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man,
Said, "Help me understand..."
He said "turn sixty-eight...
You renegotiate."
"Don't stop this train,
Don't for a minute change the place you're in...
And don't think I couldn't ever understand,
I tried my hand.
John, honestly we'll never stop this train."
Once in awhile, when it's good,
It'll feel like it should,
And they're all still around,
And you're still safe and sound,
And you don't miss a thing...
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark.
Singing...
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in;
I know I can,
'Cause now I see I'll never stop this train.
***
A song by John Mayer, that has "strummed my pain with his fingers." But I can't go on right now... I'm off to work for the night...
But today has been a very reminiscent day... and a day that I am very thankful for having Bobby in my life. More to come...
Ittekimas'!
***
No, I'm not colorblind...
I know the world is black and white.
Try to keep an open mind,
But I just can't sleep on this tonight.
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in.
I know I can't,
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Don't know how else to say it,
Don't want to see my parents go.
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own.
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in,
I know I can't,
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?
So scared of getting older,
I'm only good at being young.
So I play the numbers game,
To find a way to say that life has just begun.
Had a talk with my old man,
Said, "Help me understand..."
He said "turn sixty-eight...
You renegotiate."
"Don't stop this train,
Don't for a minute change the place you're in...
And don't think I couldn't ever understand,
I tried my hand.
John, honestly we'll never stop this train."
Once in awhile, when it's good,
It'll feel like it should,
And they're all still around,
And you're still safe and sound,
And you don't miss a thing...
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark.
Singing...
Stop this train,
I wanna get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed it's moving in;
I know I can,
'Cause now I see I'll never stop this train.
***
A song by John Mayer, that has "strummed my pain with his fingers." But I can't go on right now... I'm off to work for the night...
But today has been a very reminiscent day... and a day that I am very thankful for having Bobby in my life. More to come...
Ittekimas'!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Love.
I love love! I LIVE for love! I live because of love, so I will live TO LOVE.
I want to be an active researcher of this great epoch, called the Bible. A mind full of wisdom is one that is open to understanding… and I’m not talking about being open-minded (that’s a worldly acceptance of mediocrity and un-truth). I mean to open my mind to see from as many perspectives, points of view, and ways of seeing and learning.
Through every possibly creative way, I want to learn. I want to know.
Why?
Because I want to know the love that created me, and everything that IS… was, or ever will be!
It is an impassioned desire; the way a lover yearns for more of the one they love; to know everything about them, to show them love, and to be loved by a beautifully and wonderfully made being… to be loved by the one you love…! There is no greater reason to be alive!
Love is life’s purpose!
So in order to know this love, be in it, and to show it… I will do everything I can to learn about this love… whether by learning to know, in a way I’ve never learned before, or by going about it in ways I’ve never considered…or to learn by ways I already know…! and to use my brain in every capacity that God has made it for!! That is why I am thankful to God for making this mind of mine! Its every creative capacity is a venue for learning, knowing and LOVING my God!
I want to know, so others can know, so they too can know this love!
Strength becomes an issue, only when I rely on myself for all this “capacity and motivation” to “be about my Father’s work,” so I must ask HIM to be my strength.
And while I’m on this rant, I must also say that though I am created so uniquely and wonderfully (just as each of us is a wondrous creation in and of ourselves, by the hand of God), I am also NOT the focal point of this story; in this story, HE is. It’s HIS STORY.
I must become less, so He can become more and be seen in me… and so that the world may know of His love. In this unique creation of a being (me), He will shine HIS glory (not mine)… and once I am no longer wrapped up in my own “center of the universe,” He can be truly known.
His love is what I hope to show others, not mine. I can only give human love… in HIS strength, in HIS love, through me… and though it is a seemingly powerful love, my human love PALES in comparison… it is the love of God in me that makes the difference, and it is what people see. The less there is of me, the less I GET IN THE WAY of HIM. Instead of me standing there holding out arms of love, it is GOD’S arms, and GOD’S love.
This is what I want to accomplish by reading the God-breathed truth of the Bible.
And through HIS strength in me, everything can be done. Nothing is impossible THROUGH, BY, and WITH Him.
This weak human mind, and fragile human body gives way too quickly. Human love fades, and is not unconditional, I’m afraid. But where I am unable, He is ABLE and does NOT fail, or weaken, EVER. What I cannot do, He can, with or without my help)
A lover like that, who never gives up, turns away, fails, disappoints, hurts, or falters in truth, strength or love… there is no greater lover in all the cosmos.
I want to know this love… and though I AM already loved by this love, I want to EXPERIENCE it by knowing it more fully. I know love is not in wisdom… one doesn’t have to be versed in how love works to feel it… but in understanding love, I am able to love more deeply… in action I am able to show love… if I do not know that something exists, how can I show it? How will I know that it is love?
Love is defined in each person in billions of different ways… and no one way is more right than the other.
This is just my way… the way I have been created to love… by knowing love more fully, so I can show love to others.
“I want to feel real love,” to quote a song by Robbie Williams. And I DO… I just feel love more deeply when I KNOW it more deeply.
This may not be the same for others… and no one love is the same as another love. Love cannot be put in a box, just like God cannot be put in a box. Duh. God is love!
God wants us to show love in the ways he has meant us to show love, learn love, and feel love! Each way is unique…
And I am finally coming around to the idea that God is so incredibly creative, that he made each one of the billions of us an INCOMPARABLE creation… to further demonstrate His glory, and love. He loves every one of his creation with the passion of every burning star in the heavens multiplied to the power of infinity…! He created in us a fraction of that burning flame to share with every soul we come in contact with… and likewise that everyone is to do the same… NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! And we can share this great love with the world, starting with everyone we know, and reaching out to those yet-to-be best friends we call strangers.
It is His commandment to us. Love. Period.
No love story ever written compares to this. No story is as great as His. All my fleeting phases of time and ephemeral “fads” or passions of life (though precious to Him, and wonderful to enjoy) will all return to dust… my memories (though dear) will all fade, one day… and as hard as that is for me to come to terms with… what awaits us all is far greater.
While I’m here, in the “testing grounds” of life, I dare to prepare for what is to come. I don’t know what I’m preparing for… but it must be something great!! For as horrible as this world can be at times, I must also admit how breath-taking it can be… and how love-filled it is… and this God-scripted world (though broken and imperfect) is His precious and invaluable creation.
Though I do not always treat it as such, I can hope to try. Through the little ways in which God has given me the capability to, I know I am commanded to love ALL. Love others, Love God, and love life.
LIFE is His gift to all of us, after all… as is His Son, who gave His life so that we may live ours, and serve God with our love and our life… and to do the same to others; to love by serving, and care by showing, and be active in learning about each other.
Even the seemingly fundamental flaw of free will, is in fact used for God’s glory. Without the darkness of sin we could not see how bright the light of freedom can be. The price of Jesus’ blood would not be so great, if there hadn’t been so much darkness and sin. His PERFECT light is now the light that shines in us, thanks to the greatest expression of love: sacrifice.
“No greater love…”
“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.” And how do I do that? By knowing the mind of the one who DID. To love like He loved, I learn how He loved. In the ways that He showed love, I want to show love. How do I know how He showed love? By reading about it in the ULTIMATE love story. By reading His will and His words for my life in this great epoch.
That is how I am created to love. I am really just letting this all out to myself… I’ve still been struggling with control, though. If I find a way that I think works, I want to share it with others, to help them, in case they’ve been struggling with the same thing. But I’ve been realizing lately, that if people wanted my opinion, they’d ask… and no one has said anything, so I must come to grips that everyone’s life is their own, and each of us learn how we want to, in what ways we think are best… and I don’t want to be one to judge what is right or not.
In the words of a wise man I know well, “Either I am God, and God is not, OR GOD is God, and I am not. There can be only one.”
Frankly, I don’t think I make a very good God… yet, from time to time, I think I know how to do it, and God doesn’t have a clue… so I try to take His jobs from Him… but once I’ve tried and failed miserably, I hear a still voice calmly assuring me, “I am perfectly capable of giving you a hope and a future…SO… can I have my pen back now?”
I have to be reminded that compared to God, I am a HORRIBLE writer.
Wow, talk about your non-selfish rant. I wonder how many times I’ve used “me, myself, or I,” in this post.
Okay… I’m done.
106,
Little Girl Blue
I want to be an active researcher of this great epoch, called the Bible. A mind full of wisdom is one that is open to understanding… and I’m not talking about being open-minded (that’s a worldly acceptance of mediocrity and un-truth). I mean to open my mind to see from as many perspectives, points of view, and ways of seeing and learning.
Through every possibly creative way, I want to learn. I want to know.
Why?
Because I want to know the love that created me, and everything that IS… was, or ever will be!
It is an impassioned desire; the way a lover yearns for more of the one they love; to know everything about them, to show them love, and to be loved by a beautifully and wonderfully made being… to be loved by the one you love…! There is no greater reason to be alive!
Love is life’s purpose!
So in order to know this love, be in it, and to show it… I will do everything I can to learn about this love… whether by learning to know, in a way I’ve never learned before, or by going about it in ways I’ve never considered…or to learn by ways I already know…! and to use my brain in every capacity that God has made it for!! That is why I am thankful to God for making this mind of mine! Its every creative capacity is a venue for learning, knowing and LOVING my God!
I want to know, so others can know, so they too can know this love!
Strength becomes an issue, only when I rely on myself for all this “capacity and motivation” to “be about my Father’s work,” so I must ask HIM to be my strength.
And while I’m on this rant, I must also say that though I am created so uniquely and wonderfully (just as each of us is a wondrous creation in and of ourselves, by the hand of God), I am also NOT the focal point of this story; in this story, HE is. It’s HIS STORY.
I must become less, so He can become more and be seen in me… and so that the world may know of His love. In this unique creation of a being (me), He will shine HIS glory (not mine)… and once I am no longer wrapped up in my own “center of the universe,” He can be truly known.
His love is what I hope to show others, not mine. I can only give human love… in HIS strength, in HIS love, through me… and though it is a seemingly powerful love, my human love PALES in comparison… it is the love of God in me that makes the difference, and it is what people see. The less there is of me, the less I GET IN THE WAY of HIM. Instead of me standing there holding out arms of love, it is GOD’S arms, and GOD’S love.
This is what I want to accomplish by reading the God-breathed truth of the Bible.
And through HIS strength in me, everything can be done. Nothing is impossible THROUGH, BY, and WITH Him.
This weak human mind, and fragile human body gives way too quickly. Human love fades, and is not unconditional, I’m afraid. But where I am unable, He is ABLE and does NOT fail, or weaken, EVER. What I cannot do, He can, with or without my help)
A lover like that, who never gives up, turns away, fails, disappoints, hurts, or falters in truth, strength or love… there is no greater lover in all the cosmos.
I want to know this love… and though I AM already loved by this love, I want to EXPERIENCE it by knowing it more fully. I know love is not in wisdom… one doesn’t have to be versed in how love works to feel it… but in understanding love, I am able to love more deeply… in action I am able to show love… if I do not know that something exists, how can I show it? How will I know that it is love?
Love is defined in each person in billions of different ways… and no one way is more right than the other.
This is just my way… the way I have been created to love… by knowing love more fully, so I can show love to others.
“I want to feel real love,” to quote a song by Robbie Williams. And I DO… I just feel love more deeply when I KNOW it more deeply.
This may not be the same for others… and no one love is the same as another love. Love cannot be put in a box, just like God cannot be put in a box. Duh. God is love!
God wants us to show love in the ways he has meant us to show love, learn love, and feel love! Each way is unique…
And I am finally coming around to the idea that God is so incredibly creative, that he made each one of the billions of us an INCOMPARABLE creation… to further demonstrate His glory, and love. He loves every one of his creation with the passion of every burning star in the heavens multiplied to the power of infinity…! He created in us a fraction of that burning flame to share with every soul we come in contact with… and likewise that everyone is to do the same… NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! And we can share this great love with the world, starting with everyone we know, and reaching out to those yet-to-be best friends we call strangers.
It is His commandment to us. Love. Period.
No love story ever written compares to this. No story is as great as His. All my fleeting phases of time and ephemeral “fads” or passions of life (though precious to Him, and wonderful to enjoy) will all return to dust… my memories (though dear) will all fade, one day… and as hard as that is for me to come to terms with… what awaits us all is far greater.
While I’m here, in the “testing grounds” of life, I dare to prepare for what is to come. I don’t know what I’m preparing for… but it must be something great!! For as horrible as this world can be at times, I must also admit how breath-taking it can be… and how love-filled it is… and this God-scripted world (though broken and imperfect) is His precious and invaluable creation.
Though I do not always treat it as such, I can hope to try. Through the little ways in which God has given me the capability to, I know I am commanded to love ALL. Love others, Love God, and love life.
LIFE is His gift to all of us, after all… as is His Son, who gave His life so that we may live ours, and serve God with our love and our life… and to do the same to others; to love by serving, and care by showing, and be active in learning about each other.
Even the seemingly fundamental flaw of free will, is in fact used for God’s glory. Without the darkness of sin we could not see how bright the light of freedom can be. The price of Jesus’ blood would not be so great, if there hadn’t been so much darkness and sin. His PERFECT light is now the light that shines in us, thanks to the greatest expression of love: sacrifice.
“No greater love…”
“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.” And how do I do that? By knowing the mind of the one who DID. To love like He loved, I learn how He loved. In the ways that He showed love, I want to show love. How do I know how He showed love? By reading about it in the ULTIMATE love story. By reading His will and His words for my life in this great epoch.
That is how I am created to love. I am really just letting this all out to myself… I’ve still been struggling with control, though. If I find a way that I think works, I want to share it with others, to help them, in case they’ve been struggling with the same thing. But I’ve been realizing lately, that if people wanted my opinion, they’d ask… and no one has said anything, so I must come to grips that everyone’s life is their own, and each of us learn how we want to, in what ways we think are best… and I don’t want to be one to judge what is right or not.
In the words of a wise man I know well, “Either I am God, and God is not, OR GOD is God, and I am not. There can be only one.”
Frankly, I don’t think I make a very good God… yet, from time to time, I think I know how to do it, and God doesn’t have a clue… so I try to take His jobs from Him… but once I’ve tried and failed miserably, I hear a still voice calmly assuring me, “I am perfectly capable of giving you a hope and a future…SO… can I have my pen back now?”
I have to be reminded that compared to God, I am a HORRIBLE writer.
Wow, talk about your non-selfish rant. I wonder how many times I’ve used “me, myself, or I,” in this post.
Okay… I’m done.
106,
Little Girl Blue
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Leap Day Eve, 2008
So, yes awhile has passed since I posted. I'm still bucking and dragging my feet about updating myself from email to the modern form of communication... "blogging." I wish someone had come up with a better word for it... so, though I am under the very word which I dislike, I will no longer use it in my POSTS. It will not be uttered in font or out of my mouth, so long as I can help it.
Anyway, one reason I've been rebelling against the information age is because I feel very much inferior to the generation which I scold (and desperately wish I was NOT affiliated with), but because of their ease and innate skill at the technological world... I am green with envy.
That being said... maybe eventually (soon) I can move on.
I've done what I can to "pretend" to know what I'm doing with this online posting-bit... and if I've failed... I will simply go back to what I DO know. Email. None of this "do you have a MySpace? Live-Book? Face-Journal?" whatever, nonsense! I don't know how much more of it I can handle!
I feel outdated. And it's not a pleasant feeling. MY OWN GRANDMOTHER has a live-post account! And she checks it, and updates it regularly! She's better at emailing than I am!
Grrr...!
(Closing eyes, breathing deep) I'm over it...!
Anyway, for now this will have to do, because I'm STILL inspirationally constipated!
Like the new look? I had a mostly relaxing day, besides crimson-tide surfing >_<+
I guess I just can't stand being lumped in with the 'normies.' I don't want to do anything someone else's way... for it to be worth anything it has to be original, and totally from me. I hate that I ever was...
Following the crowd seems to be the path of least resistance these days, and lately I've been a Laziness-Nazi to myself, and putting major guilt trips on myself to keep from being who I used to be; lazy. I have been unable to enjoy any day off on account of my own self. I can't remember the last time I gave myself any slack for it.
I try to fill my days with things to do to keep from feeling unproductive... and when I take a break for any reasonn I feel horrible that I'm wasting my time...! This probably sounds like a condition for which I should seek help, des'nee?
I've spent today updating a webpage that doesn't exist in the tangible world, and sleeping through the pain of being a woman!
Some blog.
O-yasumi'.
Anyway, one reason I've been rebelling against the information age is because I feel very much inferior to the generation which I scold (and desperately wish I was NOT affiliated with), but because of their ease and innate skill at the technological world... I am green with envy.
That being said... maybe eventually (soon) I can move on.
I've done what I can to "pretend" to know what I'm doing with this online posting-bit... and if I've failed... I will simply go back to what I DO know. Email. None of this "do you have a MySpace? Live-Book? Face-Journal?" whatever, nonsense! I don't know how much more of it I can handle!
I feel outdated. And it's not a pleasant feeling. MY OWN GRANDMOTHER has a live-post account! And she checks it, and updates it regularly! She's better at emailing than I am!
Grrr...!
(Closing eyes, breathing deep) I'm over it...!
Anyway, for now this will have to do, because I'm STILL inspirationally constipated!
Like the new look? I had a mostly relaxing day, besides crimson-tide surfing >_<+
I guess I just can't stand being lumped in with the 'normies.' I don't want to do anything someone else's way... for it to be worth anything it has to be original, and totally from me. I hate that I ever was...
Following the crowd seems to be the path of least resistance these days, and lately I've been a Laziness-Nazi to myself, and putting major guilt trips on myself to keep from being who I used to be; lazy. I have been unable to enjoy any day off on account of my own self. I can't remember the last time I gave myself any slack for it.
I try to fill my days with things to do to keep from feeling unproductive... and when I take a break for any reasonn I feel horrible that I'm wasting my time...! This probably sounds like a condition for which I should seek help, des'nee?
I've spent today updating a webpage that doesn't exist in the tangible world, and sleeping through the pain of being a woman!
Some blog.
O-yasumi'.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A First Post...
Well, I've recanted, and finally come up with the right name... that was what took forever, really was choosing what pseudo-name to go by. I hope everyone reading this is aware that these words are coming from MY mind (a scary place to be)... and not much I say will have any more merit than it deserves, regarding the phrase "Everyone is entitled to their opinion." I guess I am only here to see what this whole online journal thing is all about, for now. I think journaling should be kept private, but as I mentioned before... this is the drivellings of my brain... no gospel truths, no fallacies... unless I'm quoting a source... which I may often do...
Tangent!
Sorry, I have a habit of that. If you choose to read any further, you might want to get used to it.
If there is another purpose to this online posting of my mind, it will have to be revealed to me later, because I'm still under the impression of this being kind of a waste of day... but I suppose that is in the opinion of the reader... if any... or to those whose days are spent on the computer.
Again, my opinion.
I will do my best to make this anything but a basic post, or a waste of my time and yours... so, it will be a while before I come up with a worthy topic... unless divine intervention provides any epiphany (or lightning to my head)...
So, until then, I remain anonymously yours,
Lady Raven
Tangent!
Sorry, I have a habit of that. If you choose to read any further, you might want to get used to it.
If there is another purpose to this online posting of my mind, it will have to be revealed to me later, because I'm still under the impression of this being kind of a waste of day... but I suppose that is in the opinion of the reader... if any... or to those whose days are spent on the computer.
Again, my opinion.
I will do my best to make this anything but a basic post, or a waste of my time and yours... so, it will be a while before I come up with a worthy topic... unless divine intervention provides any epiphany (or lightning to my head)...
So, until then, I remain anonymously yours,
Lady Raven
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