Love.

I love love! I LIVE for love! I live because of love, so I will live TO LOVE.

I want to be an active researcher of this great epoch, called the Bible. A mind full of wisdom is one that is open to understanding… and I’m not talking about being open-minded (that’s a worldly acceptance of mediocrity and un-truth). I mean to open my mind to see from as many perspectives, points of view, and ways of seeing and learning.

Through every possibly creative way, I want to learn. I want to know.

Why?

Because I want to know the love that created me, and everything that IS… was, or ever will be!

It is an impassioned desire; the way a lover yearns for more of the one they love; to know everything about them, to show them love, and to be loved by a beautifully and wonderfully made being… to be loved by the one you love…! There is no greater reason to be alive!

Love is life’s purpose!

So in order to know this love, be in it, and to show it… I will do everything I can to learn about this love… whether by learning to know, in a way I’ve never learned before, or by going about it in ways I’ve never considered…or to learn by ways I already know…! and to use my brain in every capacity that God has made it for!! That is why I am thankful to God for making this mind of mine! Its every creative capacity is a venue for learning, knowing and LOVING my God!

I want to know, so others can know, so they too can know this love!

Strength becomes an issue, only when I rely on myself for all this “capacity and motivation” to “be about my Father’s work,” so I must ask HIM to be my strength.

And while I’m on this rant, I must also say that though I am created so uniquely and wonderfully (just as each of us is a wondrous creation in and of ourselves, by the hand of God), I am also NOT the focal point of this story; in this story, HE is. It’s HIS STORY.

I must become less, so He can become more and be seen in me… and so that the world may know of His love. In this unique creation of a being (me), He will shine HIS glory (not mine)… and once I am no longer wrapped up in my own “center of the universe,” He can be truly known.

His love is what I hope to show others, not mine. I can only give human love… in HIS strength, in HIS love, through me… and though it is a seemingly powerful love, my human love PALES in comparison… it is the love of God in me that makes the difference, and it is what people see. The less there is of me, the less I GET IN THE WAY of HIM. Instead of me standing there holding out arms of love, it is GOD’S arms, and GOD’S love.

This is what I want to accomplish by reading the God-breathed truth of the Bible.
And through HIS strength in me, everything can be done. Nothing is impossible THROUGH, BY, and WITH Him.

This weak human mind, and fragile human body gives way too quickly. Human love fades, and is not unconditional, I’m afraid. But where I am unable, He is ABLE and does NOT fail, or weaken, EVER. What I cannot do, He can, with or without my help)

A lover like that, who never gives up, turns away, fails, disappoints, hurts, or falters in truth, strength or love… there is no greater lover in all the cosmos.

I want to know this love… and though I AM already loved by this love, I want to EXPERIENCE it by knowing it more fully. I know love is not in wisdom… one doesn’t have to be versed in how love works to feel it… but in understanding love, I am able to love more deeply… in action I am able to show love… if I do not know that something exists, how can I show it? How will I know that it is love?

Love is defined in each person in billions of different ways… and no one way is more right than the other.

This is just my way… the way I have been created to love… by knowing love more fully, so I can show love to others.

“I want to feel real love,” to quote a song by Robbie Williams. And I DO… I just feel love more deeply when I KNOW it more deeply.

This may not be the same for others… and no one love is the same as another love. Love cannot be put in a box, just like God cannot be put in a box. Duh. God is love!

God wants us to show love in the ways he has meant us to show love, learn love, and feel love! Each way is unique…

And I am finally coming around to the idea that God is so incredibly creative, that he made each one of the billions of us an INCOMPARABLE creation… to further demonstrate His glory, and love. He loves every one of his creation with the passion of every burning star in the heavens multiplied to the power of infinity…! He created in us a fraction of that burning flame to share with every soul we come in contact with… and likewise that everyone is to do the same… NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! And we can share this great love with the world, starting with everyone we know, and reaching out to those yet-to-be best friends we call strangers.

It is His commandment to us. Love. Period.

No love story ever written compares to this. No story is as great as His. All my fleeting phases of time and ephemeral “fads” or passions of life (though precious to Him, and wonderful to enjoy) will all return to dust… my memories (though dear) will all fade, one day… and as hard as that is for me to come to terms with… what awaits us all is far greater.

While I’m here, in the “testing grounds” of life, I dare to prepare for what is to come. I don’t know what I’m preparing for… but it must be something great!! For as horrible as this world can be at times, I must also admit how breath-taking it can be… and how love-filled it is… and this God-scripted world (though broken and imperfect) is His precious and invaluable creation.

Though I do not always treat it as such, I can hope to try. Through the little ways in which God has given me the capability to, I know I am commanded to love ALL. Love others, Love God, and love life.

LIFE is His gift to all of us, after all… as is His Son, who gave His life so that we may live ours, and serve God with our love and our life… and to do the same to others; to love by serving, and care by showing, and be active in learning about each other.

Even the seemingly fundamental flaw of free will, is in fact used for God’s glory. Without the darkness of sin we could not see how bright the light of freedom can be. The price of Jesus’ blood would not be so great, if there hadn’t been so much darkness and sin. His PERFECT light is now the light that shines in us, thanks to the greatest expression of love: sacrifice.

“No greater love…”

“This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.” And how do I do that? By knowing the mind of the one who DID. To love like He loved, I learn how He loved. In the ways that He showed love, I want to show love. How do I know how He showed love? By reading about it in the ULTIMATE love story. By reading His will and His words for my life in this great epoch.

That is how I am created to love. I am really just letting this all out to myself… I’ve still been struggling with control, though. If I find a way that I think works, I want to share it with others, to help them, in case they’ve been struggling with the same thing. But I’ve been realizing lately, that if people wanted my opinion, they’d ask… and no one has said anything, so I must come to grips that everyone’s life is their own, and each of us learn how we want to, in what ways we think are best… and I don’t want to be one to judge what is right or not.

In the words of a wise man I know well, “Either I am God, and God is not, OR GOD is God, and I am not. There can be only one.”

Frankly, I don’t think I make a very good God… yet, from time to time, I think I know how to do it, and God doesn’t have a clue… so I try to take His jobs from Him… but once I’ve tried and failed miserably, I hear a still voice calmly assuring me, “I am perfectly capable of giving you a hope and a future…SO… can I have my pen back now?”

I have to be reminded that compared to God, I am a HORRIBLE writer.

Wow, talk about your non-selfish rant. I wonder how many times I’ve used “me, myself, or I,” in this post.

Okay… I’m done.


106,

Little Girl Blue